Zim & the Real Girl
by xxxxxcddrthdfbnmoilyxxxxxx
Summary: Zim needs a date for the skool dance, when he suddenly comes across a certain computer game. ZIM X MABEL PEOPLE! ENJOY
1. Shall We Play a Game?

**Hey guys! I bring you a shipfic! Yay! And just in case you were wondering, this is indeed going to be Zim x Mabel! Hooray! BTW, this entire story is pretty much a parody of Soos and the Real Girl. Seriously guys, I'm like freaking out as I'm writing this! Okay-kay then, ONWARDS AEOSHIMA!**

**PS: Sorry I had to delete this story and then start the whole thing over, but for some reason this fanfic was being stubborn and not letting me post my new chapter.**

_Nice to meet you._

_Where you been?_

_I could show you incredible things._

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and everything seemed to be happy. A certain little alien in class was having his sweet fantasies of all the humans on Earth slowly bleeding to death with all of their insides exploding, smiling pleasantly to himself while he was stuck in his daydream.

"Class," hissed the harsh voice of Miss Bitters, "it is to my most absolute disgust that the skool board is throwing a dance by the end of this week, in which everyone is required to go or **they will be expelled**." All of the kids cheered, and immediately started asking each other to go to the dance. Soon everybody had a partner, even the big-headed boy named Dib, who somehow got stuck having to go with Gretchen. Zim just sat in his seat awkward, uncomfortable with all of the _disgusting _human relationships!

"I see you don't have a date Zim. The only one who doesn't! Almost seems a bit _alien _to me." Dib teased. The Irken began to silently panic. The stink-boy was right! He couldn't be the only one without a date, it could expose him and jeopardize the entire mission! Suddenly, the skool bell rang, dismissing all the children. Zim quickly went back to his base, and started pacing back and forth.

"What am I going to do? If I don't have a date soon, then I will surely fail! And the last time I tried to learn about love..." Zim cringed at the memories of Tak. Zim's "serious thinking" was interrupted by several loud noises coming from the upper level. Zim growled, frustrated by his little robot slave always making a mess of things. He put on his lenses and wig, and headed for the top floor. When he got there, he was surprised to see Gir wearing his dog disguise with a laptop, pressing many buttons.

"OO! And I want that and that and eeheeeheehee!" the crazy little robot squealed.

"GIR! Where did you get that...strange book computer?"

"I gotz it from the street! And I'm buyin' all these things! WEEEEEE!" Zim looked at the laptop screen, and understood from his little knowledge of the humans that Gir had been buying all of these random things off of Ebay. There was suddenly a ring from the doorbell. Gir squeeled in excitement and rushed over to the door. When he opened it, boxes upon boxes of things that Gir had purchased rushed into the house like an angry mob of fans.

"Gir!" Zim cried out while he was piled under some of the boxes.

"My master!" Gir cried out. "Don't worry! I'll save you!" Gir ran over to save Zim, but then got distraced by all of the boxes. He opened one of them, and grabbed an old video game from the box.

"Oo! She has pretty hair!" Gir cried out. Zim pulled himself out of the boxes, and gave his robot a look of hatred and annoyance. However, he suddenly forgot his frustration when he saw what Gir was holding. He grabbed the video game from the his hands, leaving him crying, only to find another cool thing in another box and forget what he was upset about.

"Interesting." Zim said to himself as he read the cover:

_Romance Academy_

On the front, there was a picture of a pink-haired girl with ginormous eyes that were highlighted the same color as an Irken's eyes! Zim turned it over, and saw that it read:

_10/10 Basement dwellers recommended!_

"Games made for people living in bases to educate on romance?" Zim said. "This is going to be most helpful for my very important mission!" Zim decided that he was going to install this in his computer right away, and learn the best he could on how to get a date for skool. He headed down to the lower levels.

"Gir, don't disturb me! I have very important work to do!" Gir saluted to Zim with red eyes. Once Zim was gone, his eyes turned back blue, and he made a huge cannonball with the boxes.

As the alien headed down, he stared at the game.

"Let this Romance Academy commence!"

_Magic, madness,_

_heaven, sin,_

_Saw you there and I thought:_

_Oh my gosh!_

_Look at that face!_

_You look like my next mistake!_

_Love's a game,_

_wanna play?_

**Disclaimer: The song I am using in this fic is called ****_Blank Space, _****and it is completely owned by Taylor Swift (if you haven't heard it, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN). I just wanted to use it so badly because the song itself fits Giffany perfectly! Anyways, please R&amp;R, share with your friends, you know, all that jazz. Journal Sketch is out!**

_New money,_

_suit and tie._

_I can read ya like a magazine._

Zim grabbed the disk for the dating simulator, and inserted it into his advanced computer software. Once he did, he saw a sign that came up onto the main screen that read:

_YEAR 2000 ELECTRONICS_

"Astounding technology!" the alien marveled. He then saw the menu for the game pop up. It was all pink, and he saw the option that said_ START_. He clicked on it, and saw a scenery of strange Earth plants that were full of...pinkness.

_When the cherry petals of magic romance academy are in bloom...anthyding can hadplen._

Zim was fascinated with the game-and such an amazing spelling job! The screen opened up to the scenery of a classroom that was much more clean looking than the classroom that he went to. Standing there in front was the same girl that was on the cover of the game case. Her bright magenta eyes seemed were so full of life!

"Oh, hi there! My name is Giffany. I'm a new schoolgirl at School University. Will you help me carry my books?" she asked. On the side, there were three options to choose from: _Yes of course!_, _I am impatient! Date me now!_ and _Hey look a squid!_

"Invaders don't need to hold books! I want the dating to begin now!" He clicked the second option, and a red _X_ came on the screen.

"What is this? Are humans required to carry books in order to get dates?"

"That's okay." Giffany reassured. "Try again!" Cautiously, Zim clicked on the first option. Across the screen, it said _1000 LOVE POINTS!_ Money poured down, as well as a cat that was randomly added in there.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! VICTORY FOR ZIM!" he cheered.

"What do you want to talk about?" Giffany asked.

"There's even more?" he asked. "Why don't we talk about the upcoming DOOM on this f-f-filthy planet?"  
Giffany laughed.

"Heeheehee! You are so strange and funny!" She smiled. Zim looked a little bit shocked. Was the programming for this game supposed to be interactive?

"How are you talking back?! You were sent by the Dib-stink, weren't you?!" He just knew that Dib had to be behind this! Giffany laughed again.

"No. I am...special. You bought me, and I'm going to love you forever and ever." Zim was kind of creeped out now.

"Who...are you?! ZIM demands to know!"

"Like I said before, I'm Giffany, and **I hope that you'll never leave me, Zim.**"

Zim shrugged. The programing was so probably so advanced (for human technology anyways) that it was built with interaction.

"Okay then, Giffany," Zim said, "What do you want to talk about?"

_Ain't it funny_

_rumors fly._

_And I know_

_you've heard about me_

_so hey,_

_let's be friends!_

_I'm dyin' to see how this one ends!_

_Grab your passport,_

_and my hand._

_I can make the bad guys good for a weekend._


	2. The Nightmare Begins (Again)

**More Mabel x Zim for you! Hooray!**

"Now then, any questions?" Miss Bitters asked. The only person who did raise who did raise his hand in class was Dib. Miss Bitters growled.

"Yes, Dib?"

"Miss Bitters, haven't you noticed that Zim hasn't showed up at all today? Something bad is going to happen-it always does when he's absent!"

"Yeah, like how you were late on Halloween and were going even more crazy than usual." Zita snickered. The rest of the class broke into laughter, which was soon disrupted by the ringing of the phone on the desk. The class hushed up, wanting to hear all of the latest buzz. Miss Bitters picked up the phone and hissed.

"What?" The students piped in, trying to get as much information as they could from the one-sided conversation.

"Another one?!" the old teacher cried out in a...well...bitter voice.

"TWO?!" Everyone was very interested now. Miss Bitters looked furious.

"Ugh...FINE!" she slammed the phone down.

"Class, it seems that there will be two new students transferring to this skool-this class, to be specific."

Dib's eyes went wide. New students? Was this a plan of Zim's, perhaps? Were there more Irkens that decided to come to invade Earth? As if right on cue, the two new students-twins from the look of it-opened the door.

"This is Dipper and Mabel Pines. They came from Piedmont, which is a much nicer town than ours. Dipper, Mabel, speak now because **afterwards I don't want to hear another sound come out of your mouths again**!" Dipper looked a bit terrified, Mabel, however, seemed to be fine, and actually happy. Mabel spoke up first, with a big grin on her face:

"Hi! My name is Mabel! I love boy bands, pigs, sweaters, and-" Mabel's little speech was stopped when the door opened. There stood Zim, with a proud grin on his face. He had played enough Romance Academy that he was sure he now mastered the skill of flirting.

"Zim!" Miss Bitters hissed. "You're late!" Zim waved his hand in dismissal, not really caring for what the teacher had to say right now.

"Yes, yes. I had...stuff. SO MUCH STUFF." said the green boy dramatically. Miss Bitters gave Zim a good, long, hard stare. The Pines twins were staring at Zim as well, but different things were racing their minds. All Dipper could think of was:

_NO WAY! AN ACTUAL ALIEN! HOW COME NOBODY ELSE NOTICES THIS? Bla bla bla, supernatural junk, etc._

All that poor Mabel could think of was:

_OH MY GOSH! THAT IS THE CUTEST BOY I'VE EVER SEEN! JUST LOOK AT HIS EYES! Bla bla bla, __dreaminess, totally hot, etc._

Miss Bitters pulled her attention back to class.

"Mabel, you sit right there!" she pointed to an empty seat-that was right next to Zim. Mabel rushed over to the desk and plopped into her seat. She gave Zim a nice smile, and Zim gave her a scowl in return. Maybe his flirting skills weren't totally amazing after all...

"And you, Dib!"

"Um...actually, it's Dipper." Dipper rubbed his arm. Miss Bitters growled at him, silencing the boy.

"You sit over there!" she pointed to an empty desk that was right next to Dib. Dipper walked over to his seat and sat down, staring suspiciously at Zim the whole time.

"There's gotta be at least one person who can tell that he's obviously not human." Dipper accidentally spoke out loud. Luckily, Dib was the only one who heard him.

"You know he's an alien too?!" Dib said a little too loudly. Some students turned and gave nasty looks to both of the boys, making them whisper.

"Of course, I mean me and my sister have seen stuff like this all the time back in Gravity Falls!"

"Wait...you mean that you've actually been to the Gravity Falls? The most paranormal town ever?!"

"Yeah, our parents sent us up there for the summer. We've never encountered aliens before though!"

"Wait a second...you're the one that posted all those videos! Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained!" Dipper gasped.

"So you're the one person who actually watches those!"

"Yeah! I tried sending your videos into Mysterious Mysteries, but they haven't really called back...they never really do." Dib frowned. Then he continued on:

"The name is Dib, by the way. Dib Membrane."

"Dipper Pines." The two supernatural-obsessed boys shook hands, which was only the beginning of disaster.

But that wasn't the only beginning to catastrophe...

_So it's gonna be forever,_

_or it's gonna go down in flames._

_You can tell me when it's over,_

_if the high was worth the pain._


End file.
